Special Delivery: MAYHEM!

[Arata Fukui]

"Oh my God, it's eating a stagehand!"

Over the panicked cries of the other actors and stagehands, Arata Fukui was trying to make himself heard over the telephone.  In his hand he held a receipt for a demon.  He was trying very hard not to be too surprised by this as he attempted to contact the demon's, er, previous owner.

"Hello?  Hello?  Is this Dan Teijo?"

Behind him the chairs all began flapping their seats.  Awate Futameku appeared at his side babbling that he had told them so that they should never have tried to stage an adaptation of the Scottish Play.  Arata batted him away and went back to the phone.

"Hello?  Dan-san?  I believe there has been a mix-up.  It seems a-"

Arata was cut off by a vase coming into contact with the wall just above his head.

"Dan-san, it seems one of your special items has accidentally been delivered to our theatre.  It is causing some destruction.  Would you mind assisting in its recapture?  The retrieval man has unfortunately been slightly overwhelmed."

Arata glanced at where the headless retrieval agent sat propped against the wall.

"It would be best if you hurried, Dan-san."

[Teijo Dan]

Teijo stared at the now-blank cell screen in bemusement.  This was the first time he had ever known the pick-up service to have made a mistake as whopping as dropping off demons to theatres.  It crossed his mind to wonder if perhaps the stage manager had been overly picky in props and had actually ordered one.  If that were so, then he would have advised them to hold out for another few days, when Teijo was pretty sure he could get the breakthrough for Shibumi-san, whose neurosis was quiet and well-behaved, if deeply-inscribed.

This id-manifestation, on the other hand, had tried to eat the receptionist and then beshat itself on Teijo's office rug, just to show itself displeased at being confined.

Teijo sighed, and hurried to the theatre.  It had sounded very panicky.  "Hello?" he tried, at the door.  "I'm looking for a - Fukui-san?"

"Inside!  For all our sakes!" the doorman gasped, and practically threw Teijo into the mayhem that was backstage of a reputable theatre. 

There were doughnuts on a table.  Unfortunately there was also a slavering demon, who fixed three of its nineteen eyes on Teijo as soon as he came into view.  Its pupils dilated.  Teijo considered this possibly worrying.

"Fukui-san?" he called out, trying not to move too much in case the demon got ideas.  "I hope you have your receipt, they can be fussy about pickups."

[Arata Fukui]

Arata heard his name being called and poked his head up out of the row of seats he had taken shelter in.

"Dan-san?" he called, glancing quickly at the demon.  "It ate the receipt.  Along with a chunk of my favorite kimono."  Arata angrily brandished a sleeve, most of which had been torn forcibly away.  "Dan-san, what should we do?"

[Teijo Dan]

Teijo glanced at Fukui-san, then did a slight doubletake.  There was something very familiar about that face (aura? supplied his subconscious).  He took a third look, and decided that no, it was just that Fukui-san was a very good actor.  He would probably be insulted if he were recognized; that wasn't in accordance with kabuki protocol.

"Well, we may have to improvise," Teijo said, and took off his suit jacket.  "This one is a biter, unfortunately.  Um." 

He looked at the demon, which now had five eyes focused on him.  "Excuse me.  You are being very rude."

[Arata Fukui]

[[ Meej, I am working on the understanding that this happens after Arata meets Yui.  So, he has a bit of control over his powers but doesn't recognize Teijo as Miboshi.  Cool? ]]

The demon made a ferocious sound as Arata watched Dan-san prepare to deal with it -- although, thinking about it, how what was Dan-san going to do, exactly?

From behind him, Arata suddenly became aware of a very small, scared voice saying, "Fukui-san?"

Arata spun around to see that Hisaishi-san had stepped onto the stage -- right into the demon's range of vision.  Arata looked back at Dan-san, still seemingly making preparations for whatever he was going to do.  And that thing was definitely looking at Hisaishi-san like she was dinner.

"HEY.  YOU.  OVER HERE," Arata called out.  Four of the demon's eyes focused on him.  "LOOK AT ME."  He rushed straight at the demon, waving his arms.  As he reached the stage, the demon bent over casually, bit down on Arata and came up with... nothing.

The demon seemed to be a bit confused by this.  Half its eyes swiveled around and saw Arata -- the real Arata -- standing with Hisaishi-san.

"DAN-SAN," Arata called, "now would be a good time to do whatever you're planning to do!"

[Teijo Dan]

Teijo decided that he was going to worry about actors being in two places at once later.  It was probably amazing special effects.  Backstage?  Yes, backstage.  Don't get distracted!

He took a special stack of cards from his inside vest pocket and held one up to the demon's biggest eye-cluster.  "What does this look like to you?"

The demon appeared to consider, then said something in a voice like unto the chiming of many temple bells, sonorous and soothing.

Unfortunately what it said was, "EATING."

Teijo sighed.  Demons were all stuck on the first level of Maslow's Pyramid. 

The demon tried again.  "BECOMING?"

Teijo blinked.  Well, that was progress, of a sort.  "Yes?"  he said encouragingly.  "Ambition is good, very good.  Striving is excellent.  What are you striving for?"  He hoped it wasn't just doughnuts.

[Arata Fukui]

Arata very briefly considered that perhaps inviting the demon to play some sort of card game was not necessarily the most effective way of subduing it, but then, what did he know about subduing demons?  At the moment, what did he know about anything, considering he had just managed to appear on the other side of the room from himself?

"Hisaishi-san should probably go lock herself in the properties closet," Arata suggested with an inviting bow and point of the finger.  When she hesitated, he said, "NOW."

"But Fukui-san, what about you?" she sniveled.  "And how were you in-"

"HISAISHI-SAN," Arata rumbled, "THE PROPERTIES CLOSET.  NOW."

And he turned her forcibly and shoved her backstage.  Infuriating woman!  He scowled at the space she had been for a moment before turning to see what progress Dan-san was making.

[Teijo Dan]

The demon was snarling in a worrying manner.  Teijo was slightly depressed on how little of an impact months of counseling had done for this particular evocation of the id, but at least the patient from whom it had come was doing better.

He kept an eye out for any more appearances of Fukui-san.  That was really some very effective special effects.  He wondered if they possibly had one of the government-licensed illusionists; it was a very famous theatre, a national treasure.

"Now," he said encouragingly to the demon, "do you know about proper behavior in a public place?  It does involve not terrorizing the citizens.  Have you ever thought about a life in show business and art?"

[Rune Castillo]

[ hope you don't mind if I join :) ]

Maybe this wasn't particularly the best time to visit the theatre.  Rune nervously stopped as she headed toward the entrance, the sound of a horrified scream erupted through the doors. 

"Wow, this must be some play," she murmured.  She quickened her pace hoping not to miss anything; fragmented stories ruined everything.

"Huh?"  She squealed loudly.

The theatre was in a complete disarray and there was only two people on stage, including the most realistic stage prop she had ever seen.

"Is this a rehearsal?" She asked herself.

[Teijo Dan]

Teijo glanced through the open curtains, and beheld not an empty theatre, but a nearly-empty theatre.  "I - there's an open house during rehearsal?" he said, baffled.

Unfortunately, then the demon looked, too, and its eyes lit up like Hibiya-dou at rush hour.  "INGENUE!" it roared, and bounded upstage.

[Rune Castillo]

Rune blinked twice as the stage prop roared thunderously, speakers maybe?  Obviously there wasn't a play going on today.  Rune pondered if she had read the tickets wrong, that happened often.

"Is that thing moving?" She choked.  Or could her eyes be playing tricks on her?

[Teijo Dan]

The demon appeared quite happy to solve this dilemma for her.  "BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE," it bellowed, and jumped off the stage.  It took off, up the aisle.

Teijo palmed his forehead in exasperation.  "Come back here!  Give some thought to your dignity!"  His throat began to glow blue.  His eyes, normally as brown as good coffee, began to acquire an indigo tint.  "Come back here." 

Where the hell were the professional demon wranglers?

[Arata Fukui]

Without a real understanding of how he had been able to appear in two places before, Arata muttered, "Okay, spirits -- or whatever -- now make that silly girl disappear!" and elegantly waggled his beautiful hands in her general direction.  When nothing seemed to happen immediately, he assumed whatever magic he had earlier wrought had abandoned him now and was preparing himself to jump at the demon and possibly wrangle it with a length of audio cord when the beast stopped short and looked quite confused.

"GIRL," it shouted and then angrily flattened the aisle seats of row G.

Arata raised his eyebrows in surprise, then smiled happily at a job well done.  Later, he would expect appropriate adulation.

[Teijo Dan]

Teijo's furrowed brow abruptly cleared.  Ah, that explained things; the girl who'd come in was obviously an actress in a disappearing-girl trick.  It was excellently-done, too; he had no idea where the girl'd gone.

He didn't completely ignore the tingling sensation on the inside and outside of his entire skin, because ignoring one's senses was never a good route to take, but he did assign it a slightly lower priority than the evidence of his eyes, which said that modern technology had just completely baffled a demon.

"Amazing work," he tossed over his shoulder towards Fukui-san.  Then he looked fixedly at the demon, and said, "That was not a constructive act.  Let's think about where you went wrong."