Panic Attack! The Pretty French Girl Needs Help!

[Heryuban Jin]

It was nearly nine in the evening.  Heryuban looked up from correcting a student's essay on the Toarcian Oceanic Anoxic Event and stretched.  Every bone in his body seemed to pop, and he listened to the chilling, stone-on-stone sound of moving joints with apprehension.  'Get yourself together, Hareubang,' he thought.  He self-consciously ran his hand through his hair, passing his hand over the character for "Wall" he knew was still lurking there.

Heryuban turned in his seat and stared at the door to his apartment.  Had he heard someone outside it? :(  Was someone waiting to ambush him with their problems once he opened it? :(  Why had he let Sato-sensei talk him into this?  It was unnecessary -- he had a grant that covered all his needs!  Why was it such a big deal that he spent his undergraduate years in the lab trying to never speaking to another living person? :(

When Heryuban's stomach rumbled, he remembered that he hadn't eaten anything all evening.  He moved as quietly as possible to the door and picked up his wallet and keys with as little tinkling as possible, then stood poised by the door with his ears straining for any sound of other people.  When he deemed it safe, he stepped before the door and opened it to reveal the scowling face of that French exchange student from down the corridor and a tall blonde.

Heryuban's face fell instantly and he tried to get the door shut as quickly as possible, but the blonde slammed her hand against the wood, holding it open.  Trapped!

"Hej, we are needing help that is yours!" the blonde said, in broken Japanese.

[[ Tag Des! <3 ]]

[Marina Chevalier-Roussau]

"She called me a liar!"  That was Marina, who was jabbing the Norwegian in the gut with her finger.

"I was asking about the honesty!  The honesty!" said the blonde, and then she said some gobbledegook that was probably Norwegian.  She'd been trying to say 'sunakku' but it came out 'Sunao ka' and, among the other things that she was saying, ended up sounding a lot like an accusation.

"I swear to God I don't know who's been taking our food!"  Marina shrieked.  Why yes, she'd looked that up and learned it, because this situation had happened before.  "Help us!" Marina said to the RA.  Her scowl said, 'Or else!'

[Heryuban Jin]

There was so much yelling going on suddenly with these two foreign girls standing in his doorway, and all Heryuban wanted was to crawl under his duvet until they left.  He tried to shut the door, but the Norwegian was holding it open and Heryuban didn't dare try to escape inside without being able to close the door behind him.  The girls might follow him into his room.  THEY MIGHT SEE HIS PORN.  THEY MIGHT THINK HE WAS A PERVERT. :(

"P-p-p-please!" Heryuban squeaked.  "St-st-stop sh-sh-shouting."  He looked at them with the saddest wet puppy look on his face and began jangling his keys at them, trying to motion them out of his doorway.  He couldn't let them inside, and couldn't try to escape -- they'd just stand there shouting even louder. :(  The Norwegian took her hand off the door, and Heryuban stepped outside, letting the lock catch behind him.

"Wh-wh-what is t-t-the p-p-p-p" -- his face contorted as he tried to get the word out --"problem.  Problem?"

[Marina Chevalier-Roussau]

Both girls launched into their Problems, all right, starting out speaking normally at the RA.  However, Marina kept trying to be louder than the Norwegian, and the Norwegian compensated similarly.  Soon they were shouting at each other again, as if they'd never summoned poor Heryuban to help in the first place.

[Heryuban Jin]

It very quickly became apparent to Heryuban that things were not going in a very positive direction, and he was completely baffled as to how to proceed.  He decided to try one of his primary school teacher's favored tactics and placed one forefinger against his lips while raising his other hand above his head.

He waited for the two girls to notice.

And waited.

And waited.

And- oh shit they were looking at him. :(

"Let m-m-m-me go t-t-tidy my th-th-things and thhhhhen I will speak t-t-to you b-both.  Alone.  I m-m-m-mean in t-t-tuuurn," he explained as quickly as he could before they both decided to start arguing again.  "Pl-pl-please wait."

With that, Heryuban nipped inside his room and shut the door, only intending to reopen it if they noticed his absence.

[Marina Chevalier-Roussau]

Marina said "Hmph!" at the door closing.  Her opinion of Heryuban thus far was not very high.  She wanted a man to be confident, to stand up for himself, to be...

Or did she?  I mean, she crushed on her dentist and all.

Well anyway, this Heryuban fellow still needed a backbone.  Marina edged away from the Norwegian.  Both girls eyeballed each other.  The silence was intense.

[Heryuban Jin]

There wasn't any sound coming from the other side of the door and that scared Heryuban more than shouting -- were they there?  Were they not there?!  WHERE WERE THEY?! D:

He sprung to the bedside and grabbed the stack of magazines sitting there, resembling a squirrel on coke as he glanced frantically around his room for a hiding place that no girl would ever, ever look.  Maybe his underwear drawer?  WHAT IF THEY GET CURIOUS ABOUT THE BOXERS/BRIEFS QUESTION?  Under the mattress?  WHAT IF THEY OFFER TO HELP HIM CHANGE HIS SHEETS?  Back of the closet?  WHAT IF HE NEEDED TO CHANGE HIS SHOES? D: D: D:

Heryuban was about to stop worrying and put them back on the table, due to the extended silence outside his door, when one of the girls knocked.  LOUDLY. D:  Damnit, they were still there.

"One minute!" he mumbled at the door and shoved the porn under his pillow.  Then pulled the cover over it.  Then he remembered someone would have to sit there and removed the porn to the bottom shelf of his dresser.  For safety's sake he wrote "DO NOT OPEN!!!" on a post-it note and stuck it to the front.

Okay.  All he had to do was listen.  Girls just liked being listened to.  This would all be over soon.  Heryuban took a deep breath and opened the door.

"W-w-would you come in?" he said, bowing overly ceremoniously to the pretty French girl.

[Marina Chevalier-Roussau]

Marina wrinkled her nose at Heryuban, and marched into the room.  The moment she turned around to face the Norwegian, who'd also come into the room, the two girls snapped and began to argue even louder.

"Heryuban, tell her she is a lying witch who doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about," said Marina.

"Heryuban, tell her she's a horrible bitch who should look after her own stupid food," said the Norwegian.

They were both pretty loud, and high-strung, and neither looked ready to sit down on the pillow that Heryuban prepared for them!

[Heryuban Jin]

:( :( :(

The girls were BOTH in his room and they were BOTH shouting and AUGH LOUD NOISES. :(  When they both stopped talking and looked at him -- scowled is probably the more appropriate word -- Heryuban quickly put his hand on the Norwegian's shoulder and politely indicated that she should step outside, bowing profusely all the while.

"P-p-please let m-m-me speak alone with her," he mumbled quietly and continued waving his hand toward the door and bowing until she took the hint and walked out.

"Don't listen to anything she has to say!  She'll do anything to make me look bad!!" the Norwegian snapped as she went out.  Heryuban shut the door behind her and slumped against it, glad for the peace and quiet. :)

Then he opened his eyes and Marina was still there.  Whoops. :(

"T-t-t-t-t-t-t," he started, looking abysmally at Marina.  "TEA?"  He scurried over to the small electric kettle he kept in the corner of his room and busied himself with organizing cups and a pot and other things.

[Marina Chevalier-Roussau]

Imperiously, Marina straightened up and made an abrupt hand gesture.  Chin jutted out, she commanded, "Pour it in front of me, and pour some in front of yourself too."

These boys.  You just couldn't trust them.  Also, he reeked of anxiety, which made Marina distrust him even more and he was so cute agh no, no he was not!  He was not cute.  He was.  He was super cute.  Agh.  He was worse than the dentist!  Way too shy.  But so cute.

Marina blushed really hard but pretended like she was not having these thoughts.

The Norwegian screamed at the door outside a little bit.

[Heryuban Jin]

Heryuban did what the pretty French girl said, instinctively and without a moment's hesitation.  Pretty girl!  Orders!  Yes, ma'am, I obey!  Please make the other one stop screaming. :( 

He tried to make Marina feel pleased with him by smiling (although it came out kind of lopsided and grimmace-y), and giving her the only tea cup that didn't have any chips in it (and taking for himself the one that only had the one little crack because it was suddenly very important to him that she not think he was poor (man, she smells nice :) (no, stop that))).

"P-p-please tell m-m-me," he began, "what your issue is.  Please."

[Marina Chevalier-Roussau]

Marina took the teacup while she ogled Heryuban without realizing she was totally blatantly checking him out. She also glanced at the tea to check if it had some kind of visible poison or spit in it, and then her roving eyes landed somewhere near Heryuban's stomach.

"My suitemate is a big-mouthed, lying monster who's always wrong but won't ta gueule! Elle est un visage chatte salope pute sac coq démon meunier qui garde de me crier des choses que je ne baise pas!"

Marina huffed and sipped her tea, which sort of calmed her down.

"Also, she threw my refrigerator out the window."

Another sip of tea. Still she ogled.

"I like this tea."